I want more!

Where is love found? That’s my question of the day. Where will one find love? Under a rock? Maybe beside my pillow tonight…

I’ve always been told that you’re not supposed to look for love but if I’m not looking is it just going to hit me in the face? I mean I have to keep my eyes open in order to see right?!

Well as the time passes, I’ve learned there’s no love to be found in Chicago. Wait before you get on me about this let me just explain! It truly is infested with “haters” and people who are no good in general. Everyone is soo caught up in themselves that they miss the finer things as well as the good in people. I try to make it a goal of mine to see the good in people and sometimes it becomes a game because often it’s hard to find!

I just wonder if it’s too much to ask to find someone who is passionate and dedicated to what they love. I want a DEEP lover, someone who can devote and indulge every once of himself into me when he’s not concentrating on his very own passion, whatever it may be.

I WANT MORE!

No more of these t-pains with his “backseat action” or 50 takin me to the candy shop or amusement park or WHATEVER!!

I want a dwele like in “old lovas” when he says “both of us coexist hand in hand…or maybe you can be my mpc be part of my everyday endeavor, when I touch your keys, your sweet melodies, they bring me pleasure”
Or even

a john legend who will kiss me underneath the stars and just doesn’t care who knows or sees it.

I could even deal with a Common who’s clothes are tight but doesn’t seem gay… just don’t break my heart. We could be like flava n delicious.

Who knew growing mentally with someone would be so much tougher than growing physically.

Well it’s time to admit who I am, that is the first step isn’t it?

I’m a J, a junkie of love. I’m addicted to love and the joy it brings but its time to go into rehab. I just might get lucky enough to be in the room next to Amy. During this process I hope to achieve success in self-fulfillment.. Wait a minute.. Not that kind of fulfillment! I mean I hope to grow mentally into the truest form of Me, whoever that may be.

So as many more documents love incidents are surely to occur.. Wish the best for my recovery.. I am in dire need. –J.

Real Hip Hop

What has Hip hop really turned into?? Growing up as such a hard core fan of music, I'm highly dissappointed in what music has become! Can i just turn on the radio for once and hear something other than "do the heismann on that hoe" or "inside peanut butter, outside jelly" or do i have to change the station just to hear more of "superman that hoe" and sap stories of how guys got so many sorry emotions.. Ughhh these silly "lady boys" pretend their such real "spartan men" but cry in real life just as much as they do in these sap songs..

And to make matters worse.. youtube cares to encourage this mess

check it out







Unforgivable!


Help Hip Hop God .. before its too late!

Ladies and Gentlemen

I ask that you all listen up.. Sometimes i like to shy away from the madness of the crazy things in life, and bring my readers some insight. I'm not here to waste anyones time i just would simply like to tell everyone of this new amazing "product" i found!! its called.... Kinoki.....

Now for those who havent heard of it let me just brief you... Kinoki is a new invention of "detox" pads that rid your body of heavy metals, metabolic wastes, microscopic parasites, mucous, and girls listen to this... CeLLULITE! Now these pads have some sort of minerals in them that improve your overall health.. Now the important question, "where do I put these pads?"



Right on the bottom of your feet!! Now in the commercial it freaked me out that in the morning the pads were black once you peeled them off!
Side note: they even clean your limpatic system for all you nervous ions!

This idea FREAKS ME OUT!! I mean, jus curious, if these terrible toxins are in me, everynite, then, ... maybe this is ... MANDATORY that i jump on this wonderful offer!!

some advertising for you ..

yes thats right.. order now and get two sets for the price of one. I will give you the site at the end of this presentation :-)

So me and my friends will do the experiment for you all bubbling readers.

O my gosh AND you get foot scrub with it.... as a free gift..

KINOKI.. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE????

Heres some testimonials if you all dont believe me!

These detox pads are absolutely amazing! I have fibromayalgia, and have tried drugs, massage, and even acupuncture to relieve the pain – but this “miracle treatment” is allowing me to sleep better and live in much less pain than I have in years. Thank you so much!”


WOW, thats all I have to say, WOW.


again, just jump onto buykinoki.com and orders yours today


Truly yours,
J

sex is stronger than any drug, even love

as i took the last, long sip of my 4$ gin and tonic, i found myself starring down the bottom of the glass. no ice. i reached into my pocket to find a couple of singles. i walked in with 40 dollars. i definitely had one, too many.

i decided to get up on my feet if i could and start to dance. anything to save me a couple of bucks for the cab. i loved how the room moved. everyone came from different points of the map but, somehow there was a universal message on the dancefloor that was spoken through body language.

a couple of hand grabs and hey lil mama's here and there.. but i managed to push myself through the sea of unfamilar faces. and suddenly, i met eyes with one that i seem to frequent. it was like a cheeseball music video..

i felt my cheeks turn a slight warmth. at this point, i couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or a sudden attraction. it sure was permeating through my body. whatever it was, i couldn't control it and i didn't want to.

i nervously moved towards the window to watch the sudden pour of rain outside. "great" i thought. i tried to play my cool card and ignore his near exsistance but i couldn't contain myself. i'd be lying if i said i didn't feel his stare. i turned to give him my weak smile, afraid of rejection. but all was well- a smile in return. "its rainin' cats and dogs" i said so childlike. he let out a chuckle and noted my southern draw.. "thats real cute" i was no longer the damsel in distress at the bar.. i had suddenly become his object of desire.. and he, mine.

shoulder to shoulder, then hip to hip, we stood in near silence in a room of clamor and commotion. we shared laughs in what seemed like hours, but only fifteen minutes passed. he shifted his hand down the small of my back and we moved. tallulah by jamiroquai dripped through the speakers, or at least in my imagination. the crowd moved to a much quicker beat, but we found ourselves moving to our own.. slower rate. it was almost like he gave the dj his own playlist.. because every song was right.. and i didn't want to leave his side.


everything about our encounter spelled out trouble. both under influence, we had divine scent. four hands and a simple touch. my nose rubbed against his and i could already sense the longing for a kiss. just a simple kiss. it was mutual. every inch of my body said yes but my mind repelled against the idea.. the pressure was already enough that i could bare. i recognized the butterflies inside of me. i was uneasy.. but it was a nice, uneasy feeling.

in my ear he whispered "stay with me tonight".. i laughed it off and felt his grip grow tighter. he moved my head towards his so that our eyes would coincide. "come home with me" i grew hesitant and looked away.. i looked back. he never lost focus.





"come home with me" there was no contemplating now...



the pitter patter of the rain grew louder, and i there i laid. a sigh escaped my lips.. what a relief.. i thought. it feels good to come home alone. just knowing that we didn't act on impulse like little children... instead the intimacy we shared without a single kiss, leaves me feeling like more of a woman then i have ever felt..



sexual tension is stronger than any drug, even love.

"paparaz E"

So I'm running down milwaukee avenue past flash taco when it occurs to me "you shoulda just kept your mouth shut!"

By this time I have lost one of my favorite shoes and my asthma is starting to act up. Luckily I make it back to my car in time to beat the "paparaz E".

"Is this a dream? or somehow did I become famous over night?"

Let me take you back a bit to explain my sudden rise to fame...

Saturday night, getting dressed (thinking to self: purple or plaid pumps?) Somehow between leaving my house and getting to the club, yes... I consumed a large amount of alcohol (yeah smart of me, I know). Upon arriving at the door, the bouncer requests "Its $1 for each different color highlight in your friend's hair." This wasn't shocking considering my friend was going through a crisis, so she thought it'd be liberating to tie dye her ebony black hair. Moving on....we finally get on the dance floor and the dj plays my favorite song: "This is how do it" by Montell Jordan and I lose it! Somehow for a second I bother to come out of my world, I open my eyes and see a flash. So I look around but no site of a camera. Again, I zone out and later on in the nite the flashes proceed to rapidly increase. I turn to my friend and asks if she noticed anything, and in fact she knew the culprit who had been violating not just me but the entire party! I saw this offender and proceeded to catch her in the corner. I stated "Hey you, no photos please!" Now be prepared because what she did next was horrific!

She turned into Bowser (super mario brothers) and flashed me in the eyes with camera. It felt like...mase...as all the light rushed into my iris'... so...I resorted to running!

...And here I am now locked in the trunk of my car




..........the price you pay for being famous.................